Just me and Arty B runnning the race...

I have been fumbling through quiet times with God recently. I know God has been with me through these fumblings (which yes, I realize is not technically a word) because of the manna that he has provided through each day. But some days I still have felt my heart hardening to God and what he wants me to hear. I read in one of my books that after a loss or traumatic event in your life this is normal for you to harden your heart and turn from God. It is normal because it seems like he has turned from you and has abandoned you, but that is not the case. He is constant, and faithful, and has never failed me, so why at this point in heartache and hurt am I so apt to turn from him? How can I not consider all he has done for me and continue to be faithful to him? I look to people in the Bible that were challenged in their faith by the circumstances surrounding them. The list includes the greats like Noah, Moses, Abraham, and Joshua. These men were commended for their faithfulness to the path marked before them by God. Can you imagine being a part of a list like that?  In Hebrews 11, most of the verses begin with, "By faith..." and then gives a person's name and how they lived out their faith for God whether it was by almost sacrificing their son, or being ridiculed for building an ark, or by leaving the family they thought was theirs and being degraded like the family they actually were a part of. Can you imagine reading this and then all of a sudden it saying, "By faith Mandi..."

I know I have read through Hebrews before but this chapter stuck out to me this morning. What if this was being written about us? What would be next to your name? By faith Mandi kept pursuing Christ everyday no matter what hurt abounds her, or by faith Mandi loved those around her with the love and joy of Christ.  I would hope it would not read "Mandi quit, or Mandi lost faith, or Mandi hardened her heart" because this was not God's plan for me. He doesn't want me to lose faith because of my surroundings or the heartache I am going through. He wants me "..to run with perseverance the race marked before me, fixing my eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith" (Heb. 12:1)

I like that it reads "by faith", because it is very clear  just by reading through these peoples' stories that it is does not say "by his own strength Noah built an ark", or "by his own accord Abraham took his son Issac to sacrifice him". No it clearly says "by faith", because these people would not have done these things because they wanted to, but because of their faithfulness to God's plan. And that is how I am hoping to take these fumblings, by faith and by his mercy everyday. That by his mercy, joy and love everyday I can run the race marked before me. That I can look to my present circumstances and be content because I am running after a God who has great plans. As I went on my walk this morning, I happened to cross paths with Art Briles, if you don't know who this is, I am sorry we may not be able to be friends. He is Baylor's head football coach, so basically if you know me, you know this was a big deal. I love Art Briles and Baylor football. I was raised a Baylor fan and even through all the years of losing, I still had faith in my bears. (Thanks mainly to my granddaddy whose faith never wavered.) When Art Briles took the Baylor coaching job things were grim. Even his oldest daughter told him not to take the job because it was going to be rough. I will give you just a taste of the stats, the last time Baylor had had a winning season was 1995 and now we are a force to be reckoned with.  He is a present day example to me of living by faith. He faithfully and diligently worked towards something that at the time seemed dark and grim and transformed it into something amazing.

I know this may be a stretch for some, because people like Noah, Moses and Abraham are the beginning of our heritage, and their circumstances were way bigger than ours, but we are also a part of this lineage. We have been pushed in our faith just like those before us, and have to find faith in those circumstances. So how does your sentence end? By faith...

"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for." Hebrews 11:1